Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Chicago, Illinois


on the first day of Christmas
his mama died in childbirth, but they called it suicide
his sister took him home & laid him down in his crib
little brother I’m gonna call you the Carburetor Kid

curiosity kil’t the stupid motherfucker
his daddy usta say,
his daddy was a trucker
cross your heart boy, and hope to die
if you wanna get out of this town alive

his sister’s name was Mabel
at least that‘s what it said
on the bus ticket
hidden under her bed
on the second day of Christmas she disappeared
and she didn’t come back for almost 29 years

on the third day of Christmas he got a job
stealing shopping carts for the trailer park mob
daddy comes home and the kid he starts to laugh
I make more money than you do all day old man
in an hour and a half

on the 4th day of Christmas,
he set the trailer on fire
with a can of hairspray and a cigarette lighter
he outran the cops and the ambulance
they found his shirt the next day on a barbed-wire fence

on the 5th day of Christmas on his uncle’s farm
he won a fistfight with a broken arm
they got him drunk and drove him out to a country road
abandoned and bruised,
they stole his shoes

on the 6th day of Christmas
he kil’t a cat
w/ a 5 iron & a baseball bat
he’s got a pillowcase full of aluminum cans
5 middle fingers on each hand

on the 7th day of Christmas,
he overdosed
a year and a day he spent comatose
he awoke in an old GTO, tied to a board
and a voice said welcome to the junkyard ward

junkyard doctors and junkyard patients
eating cans of cold beans and smokin’ up their medications
a man approached him and winked his eye,
it’s the 8th day of Christmas boy let’s get high

on the 9th day of Christmas,
hitchhiking south
his tongue like a snake sleeping in his mouth
he lets rattlesnakes bite him when he wants to get high
he doesn’t smoke weed,
he thinks he’s a god

on the 10th day of Christmas,
Marley McGunn
gave him a ride to Alhambra
in more ways than one
she had a leopard skin skirt and her hair was pink
she wore a red bra
she drove a red car

smokin’ cocaine on white vinyl seats
in an empty church parking lot on Alvarado
the Carburetor Kid loaded his gun
said it’s the 11th day of Christmas mama
let’s have some fun

they broke into a mansion
up in the hills
Marley stuffed her bra fulla hunner-dollar bills
but they shot her down cold while she was starting the car
and on the 12th day of Christmas
they locked the Carburetor Kid behind bars

on the 13th day of the Christmas season
the Carburetor Kid shot his way out prison
he bribed the guards fulla bulletholes
singing I’m a bad luck motherfucker gimme some more

he wandered down to Mexicali with a shotgun on his lap
a tattoo of Jesus Christ the savior on his back
he’s got a carburetor where he used to have lungs
performing open-heart surgery with a shotgun

he never got arrested but he never quite got away
he bought a ticket for a trainwreck
and a bottle
he wandered up to Milwaukee cuz it was his mama’s maiden name
but she was buried just south of Chicago

Chicago, Illinois
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Chicago, Illinois
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Chicago, Illinois

he got into Chicago on Christmas Eve
high as hell on amphetamines
he caught his supper with a homemade guillotine
he lives in a fridge
under the bridge

on the last day of Christmas
he starved to death
while he was lookin’ for a bullet to kill himse’f
his epitaph is spraypainted
on a bridge,
“I hate that motherfucker called the Carburetor Kid”




© Nathan Payne