Milwaukee, Wisconsin Chicago, Illinois on the first day of Christmas his mama died in childbirth, but they called it suicide his sister took him home & laid him down in his crib little brother I’m gonna call you the Carburetor Kid curiosity kil’t the stupid motherfucker his daddy usta say, his daddy was a trucker cross your heart boy, and hope to die if you wanna get out of this town alive his sister’s name was Mabel at least that‘s what it said on the bus ticket hidden under her bed on the second day of Christmas she disappeared and she didn’t come back for almost 29 years on the third day of Christmas he got a job stealing shopping carts for the trailer park mob daddy comes home and the kid he starts to laugh I make more money than you do all day old man in an hour and a half on the 4th day of Christmas, he set the trailer on fire with a can of hairspray and a cigarette lighter he outran the cops and the ambulance they found his shirt the next day on a barbed-wire fence on the 5th day of Christmas on his uncle’s farm he won a fistfight with a broken arm they got him drunk and drove him out to a country road abandoned and bruised, they stole his shoes on the 6th day of Christmas he kil’t a cat w/ a 5 iron & a baseball bat he’s got a pillowcase full of aluminum cans 5 middle fingers on each hand on the 7th day of Christmas, he overdosed a year and a day he spent comatose he awoke in an old GTO, tied to a board and a voice said welcome to the junkyard ward junkyard doctors and junkyard patients eating cans of cold beans and smokin’ up their medications a man approached him and winked his eye, it’s the 8th day of Christmas boy let’s get high on the 9th day of Christmas, hitchhiking south his tongue like a snake sleeping in his mouth he lets rattlesnakes bite him when he wants to get high he doesn’t smoke weed, he thinks he’s a god on the 10th day of Christmas, Marley McGunn gave him a ride to Alhambra in more ways than one she had a leopard skin skirt and her hair was pink she wore a red bra she drove a red car smokin’ cocaine on white vinyl seats in an empty church parking lot on Alvarado the Carburetor Kid loaded his gun said it’s the 11th day of Christmas mama let’s have some fun they broke into a mansion up in the hills Marley stuffed her bra fulla hunner-dollar bills but they shot her down cold while she was starting the car and on the 12th day of Christmas they locked the Carburetor Kid behind bars on the 13th day of the Christmas season the Carburetor Kid shot his way out prison he bribed the guards fulla bulletholes singing I’m a bad luck motherfucker gimme some more he wandered down to Mexicali with a shotgun on his lap a tattoo of Jesus Christ the savior on his back he’s got a carburetor where he used to have lungs performing open-heart surgery with a shotgun he never got arrested but he never quite got away he bought a ticket for a trainwreck and a bottle he wandered up to Milwaukee cuz it was his mama’s maiden name but she was buried just south of Chicago Chicago, Illinois Milwaukee, Wisconsin Chicago, Illinois Milwaukee, Wisconsin Chicago, Illinois he got into Chicago on Christmas Eve high as hell on amphetamines he caught his supper with a homemade guillotine he lives in a fridge under the bridge on the last day of Christmas he starved to death while he was lookin’ for a bullet to kill himse’f his epitaph is spraypainted on a bridge, “I hate that motherfucker called the Carburetor Kid” © Nathan Payne